


Wild Card

by Crystallinee



Category: Suicide Squad (2016)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Harley Learns To Swim - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, Mild Gore, Playdates and Date Night - Freeform, Revenge
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-29
Updated: 2018-07-29
Packaged: 2018-08-11 21:16:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 12,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7907938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crystallinee/pseuds/Crystallinee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Working for two psychotic clowns madly in love is a wild ride. Jonny Frost tries to get used to his boss' lady, but the Queen of Gotham can't be tamed. </p><p>Collection of one-shots, various themes. Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Angst. Joker x Harley Quinn. Suicide Squad-verse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Whistle

**Author's Note:**

> This a collection of one-shots. The chapters have no connection to each other. They will be either from Jonny Frost's point of view, or Joker and Harley's. The POV might vary. Various themes.

**Whistle**

 

 _Make 'em whistle like a missile bomb_  
_Every time I show up, blow up_  
_Whistle, whistle, whistle (can you hear that?)_

 - Whistle, BlackPink

 

Jonny Frost was the type of man who just followed orders and never asked any questions. It was necessary when working for the most psychotic criminal in town. He was content with the status quo; no questions asked and he kept his head attached to his body.

But the moment the boss stopped him from killing the ex-psychiatrist during his big break out, something changed. A female clown had joined the insane party.

At first Frost thought she was just one of the boss' disposable toys, but the crazy chick seemed to be more resistant than that. Working as the Joker's right hand, he soon became uncomfortably aware of just how _non-disposable_ she was.

Harley Quinn was the untouchable, the queen of the Clown Empire. And was she crazy, alright. Frost didn't blame her after seeing 450 volts turning her brain into pudding – which became her favorite word. He honestly never thought she would be able to stick around in the shifting minefield surrounding her, but she knew exactly how to move. Nothing could get rid of her, and no one tried and lived to tell the story. The boss suddenly had a weakness, and that weakness was a hell of a lioness.

The first time Frost saw her in full action, he was surprised. After living with the Joker for quite a while, he thought nothing could move him anymore – he had seen just about anything, including a man wearing a goat head mask and a marble crucifix walk into a slaughterhouse and returning with a couple of skinned humans.

Still she never ceased to surprise him.

Skipping away from the tall building, Harley approached the tied up hostages in front of her. The CEO and executives were sweating in their tailor-made suits, sitting with their backs against a dusty brick wall. Frost was holding his gun to the Chief Executive's head, effectively keeping all six men in check.

He knew he was an unnecessary presence. Frost's actual mission was to cover the queen at all times, but she could handle herself just fine. She had brought the corporation executives out of their business meeting on the tenth floor and down to the street before Frost even had time to call in the henchmen. With her bat she could beat anyone's brains out and she did it gracefully.

Harley swung the bloody weapon around nonchalantly. She flashed them a bright, toothy smile. "Hi boys!"

Frost shifted a bit uncomfortably.

"Nice of you to join us! Be patient while Puddin' fixes the rest…" She spun around like a ballerina in her pink tutu, her brightly dyed hair flowing around her. She made an acrobatic skip and landed steadily on her feet.

Frost tried to keep his gaze away from her; The Joker had made it painfully clear he didn't want to share anything about her, but she was just too hard to ignore. She broke through to anyone, her presence ever so presumptuous.

Harley leaned down to the trembling CEO and handed him a small cell phone as she stroked his silk tie.

"Hurry up and make your call. Puddin' likes your company, but we can't hang out with you all day," she giggled. "Remember you've got 150 nice little friends waiting for you in there," she pointed at the large building. "Who needs staff anyway?"

The man quickly started pushing the buttons with shaking fingers. Frost pressed his gun tighter to his head, but he knew he wasn't allowed to spoil the fun for her.

Harley turned around as she saw the Joker strolling casually towards her, not a stain on his purple alligator coat, a remote in his hand. Three masked henchmen with machine guns followed closely behind him. The enormous building behind them looked dull and grey from the outside, but the inside was painted red by now.

"Puddin'!" she exclaimed and skipped towards him, always graceful in her high heels, throwing her arms around his neck. She winked at him and he responded with a wide, metallic grin. They had those moments where they just forgot all about the mass annihilation they had planned and stared into each other's eyes like any sane couple. Frost suddenly felt extremely misplaced, and he was sure the costumed henchmen felt the same. Luckily for them, their discomfort was well hidden behind their ridiculous animal costumes.

Frost looked away awkwardly as they had their intimate moment. Instead he turned his attention to the man below him, who just finished his call with a shaky sigh.

The Joker stepped closer, flanked by Harley. He smiled at their captives. "A little bird told me the transaction is complete."

The CEO nodded nervously, sweat flooding down his face. "Four billion dollars, as promised. Now let us go and we'll forget all about this, alright?"

The Joker patted Harley's shoulder approvingly. "You really are a little monster."

She beamed with pride. "I'm _your_ monster," she giggled and blew a bubble of her gum.

The man swallowed hard. "We'll come up with a cover story, I'll have it arranged. J-J-Just let my staff go."

The Joker took up his phone and checked the transaction. His grin widened, still looking at the screen. "Now that is going to be a problem, Mr Johnson. They will have to look for a new workplace, this one's looking a bit dusty. Don't you think?"

"W-what?"

The Joker made a dramatic gesture towards it, his metallic teeth glimmering ominously. "Oh, you'll see."

The henchmen headed for the car and Frost knew his employer enough to realize that he had a few seconds to get out of the way. He withdrew his gun and followed them, still watching his boss.

The Joker moved away too, still grinning at the men. He made a theatrical bow. "If you excuse me, gentlemen…"

Harley blew a kiss at the CEO. "I wish I could have stayed longer, you're actually cute. You like me, don't you?" she cooed. "I like it when guys whistle at me."

She put a sharp, pink nail to her chin and pretended to think. A delighted smile suddenly lit up her face.

"Do you hear that?

The loud, whistling sound of a missile made his eyes widen a second before the enormous crash. The corporation building crumbled fast; grey concrete pillars tumbling down onto the street as the ground shook. An enormous layer of dust and dirt spread in the air as the building behind the tied up men collapsed, trapping them in the inferno. Another ear-splitting whistle was heard. The chaos spread and mixed with screams as the fifteen-story building fell above them.

Harley was already in the car with the rest of them, the Joker pushing her in as Frost drove them to safety. Still, he knew they liked to watch the show, and took a turn so they could admire their work.

The cars parked on the streets were flattened like pancakes. Concrete and stone scattered on the sidewalk where people ran for their lives and sirens went off in the distance.

Harley laughed heartily and clapped her hands as the buildings fell like houses of cards, one after another, leveling the business district to the ground.

"I just _love_ missiles," she exclaimed. "Aren't they fun, Puddin'?"

The Joker rolled his eyes, an amused smile spreading on his face. "Nothing makes me more excited than some good ol' whistlin'."

And just like that she climbed onto his lap in the backseat of the car, grinding her body against him. They kissed roughly, excited after a well-done heist. Frost knew his place and kept his gaze firmly trained on the dusty street in front of him as he sped up and zigzagged between approaching cars. The three henchmen in the back of the van were just trying to ignore them, knowing their own good.

Life had been so much more explosive since the blonde freak had come along, but Frost couldn't deny that her craziness complemented the boss' in an obvious way. Harley Quinn was totally out of control, unpredictable in a way that even got The Joker puzzled sometimes. Still, that was what his Boss liked, and Frost had figured he better get used to her drilling presence.

She was nowadays doing some parts of Frost's job, and she even made it easier sometimes – except when she got herself in trouble and he had to go to extreme lengths to make sure not an inch of her skin was scratched. The Joker had decided to hold _him_ responsible for backing up his crazy girlfriend at all times – a task that was as impossible as it was meaningless. The woman was _looking_ for trouble, she seemed to get off from danger.

Frost took a sharp left to avoid a frontal crash with a police car, making them tumble around in the backseat. Harley giggled excitedly: "Police chase! Police chase!"

The Joker glared at Frost in the rear view mirror. "Turn back," he commanded.

He did as he was told; hoping Boss' honeymoon phase would pass soon enough. The Joker did whatever the crazy chick asked of him, and so everyone else who worked for him did. She owned the entire world.

"Pedal to the metal," Harley Quinn ordered, sitting up in the Joker's lap and nibbling at his earlobe. He purred at her as he reached for his gun, to make Frost obey faster.

Sometimes he wished he had chosen another career.


	2. Fun Ride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harley goes for an (involuntary) swim.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had so much fun writing this. Some lighter, funnier Jarley for once in a while. This series consists only of one-shots. There is no connection between the chapters.

**Fun Ride  
**

 

The dark water in the harbor glimmered in blue, reflecting the night sky. The momentary peace was only disturbed by the sound of gunshots peppering a building.

Harley sighed and crossed her legs, sitting on a car as far away from the water she could come. "This is _boring_ ," she whined.

After returning from Louisiana's funhouse known as Belle Reve, she was promptly paired with Frost and had to sit out some jobs. That drove her insane, figuratively speaking, and she had fussed quite vehemently until she was allowed to go out again. Boss didn't want to let her out of his sight, and she had used that fact to her advantage. At least she was physically closer to him now.

Frost checked his watch as he kept his eyes on the building his boss and the crew had just entered. For once, the whole ordeal was not supposed to draw attention. They were going to infiltrate a warehouse to get hold of a large shipment of weapons. Harley and Frost had been placed as 'look-out' and eventual back-up – something she had been complaining about all evening.

A man in an expensive, discrete black suit, flanking a well-dressed woman, approached the car Harley had occupied. Frost realized that anyone parking an shiny car down in Gotham City's harbor at this time of night really was up to something. Frost went closer, staying alert.

"Get off," the man told Harley sternly, waving a hand. Someone of his type should at least have been aware of her identity.

Harley draped herself over the white, shiny vehicle with a slow grin. "Nice car. Compensating for something, hmmm?"  
Frost tried to keep a straight face. She never went anywhere if it wasn't in her boyfriend's Lambo, after all.

She must be _deadly_ bored.

"Get the fuck off my car," Mr. Compensator threatened.

"Yeah?" She winked at him, her pointy wristbands rubbing against the windshield. It created a sharp, shrill sound. "Ya gonna come over here and tell me that again, big boy?"

The man took a step towards at her, reaching inside of his suit, but she quickly turned him over and pressed him into the hood of his car. The woman gave a small scream and Frost inwardly sighed. So much for keeping a low profile. Boss was going to so be pissed if she got the cops on their trail.

"What do you want?" the man stuttered. Now he must have connected the dots. Smart guy.

Harley grinned. "Ya got a pretty nice ride… not as good as my Puddin's, though. Ya know who he is?"

"You-you're with that clown, right? You're his, crazy bitch."

Her smile fell. Sensing the direction of her little game, Frost decided to step in. "Miss Quinn…"

"Mr. J is the king, showing off what he's got, and _you're_ just compensating." Harley slammed her nails down on his arm, making him gasp. "Can't really entertain your girl, huh? Too bad. I wanna ride." She held out her hand, demanding.

With Frost approaching and Harley glaring at him, the man seemed to realize his disadvantage. Swearing, he reached down to his pocket and retrieved the keys, handing them over to her. She giggled to herself, violently shoving Mr. Compensator off the hood. The woman helped him up, and they started backing away.

Harley straightened up, mischief sparkling in her eyes. "I'm going for a ride."

"Boss said you were not to leave without his permission." The Joker was going to nail him to the ground if he let her get away, but Harley always did what she wanted to anyway. The rules regarding her had been harder ever since she got back, resulting in a lot of collateral damage and dead goons.

They were interrupted by the sound of gunfire. They looked in the direction of the warehouse only to see a big group of men welling out on the street, followed by the Joker's thugs. Joker was among them, laughing merrily, as they scattered across the open area.

Seeing her chance for action, Harley grabbed her bat and was in the mix a moment later. In contrast to the rest of the Joker's crew, she preferred face-to-face combat. While the men depended on heavy firepower from a safe distance, she wanted to be right up in the action. With her beloved toy and gymnastic skills she crushed skulls like glass. She was always one step before, but had been ordered not to dance in the crossfire this time.

She took on two men on her own, closing in on them from behind and beating their weapons out of their hands. The three of them ended up in something similar to a wrestling match and constantly drew closer to the edge of the dock. She was impressively fierce for her thin body, showing a determination close to the Boss' when she beat something.

Frost kept himself out of reach as he fired his semi-automatic gun and let the thugs do their thing. He watched his boss having the time of his life gunning down every person in sight. It was truly a relief to see Boss so relaxed again. The ground turned red – it was only a matter of time before the cops would be alerted, but Boss didn't seem bothered in the least. He was in his true element.

Distracted by keeping on an eye on the Boss and staying out of the gunfire, Frost only heard the loud splash from somewhere behind him. He kept firing as he stepped closer to the platform on the dock. He looked over the edge to see no other than Harley Quinn wildly struggling to keep herself afloat in the water down below.

"Boss," Frost called as he shot at the few mobster thugs that she had been wrestling with, forcing them back towards the street. The rest of Joker's crew, lead by Panda Man, had effectively taken out a whole group of them and stormed the warehouse to pick up the goods.

.

The Joker turned around when he heard him, before he saw his partner in the water. He growled in frustration – he needed to take care of that little _problem_ as soon as possible. He couldn't have her screwing up his plans anymore with her habit of falling, jumping or otherwise ending up in water. Wouldn't do to have little Harley drowning on him, after all he did to get her back, _no_.

He barked at the nearest thug: "Get her!" and finished firing at the remaining opponents with his customized, gold-plated Kalashnikov. They scattered like leaves all around him. Oh, how he loved automatic weapons. Even better than knives – the way they just _cleared the_ _way_ in record time, like mowing the lawn. But knives were funnier, when he wanted to take his time and really _savor_ it.

The henchman realized he had no choice as the Joker turned his rifle on him, and immediately threw himself into the dark water.

Joker couldn't fully focus on the joys of murdering as he knew Harley was out of his reach, again, reminding him of something. An obsessive part of him felt forced to supervise; he couldn't trust his idiot henchmen save for good ol' Jonny Frost.

He stepped to the edge to watch. Harley reminded him of a drowning dog, wet hair in her face, spitting and spluttering, doing some kind of improvised dog paddle and sinking fast. As soon as the rescue-henchman got close to her, she grabbed a hold of him, still panicking. She took a choke-hold on him and clung tightly to his body.

Joker growled, hands twitching to push the trigger, his instincts urged him to just _remove_ the meatbag from her. But that wouldn't do right now.

Harley pushed the henchman below the surface in her attempts to get out of the water, using him as a safety buoy. She kicked and struggled and grasped the man with the brute force of someone who is panicking. The Joker couldn't help but feel wickedly amused as the man disappeared in the water. He suddenly cackled, bending over and roaring with laughter.

Oh Harley, she knew how to amuse him. He had planned to get rid of that meatbag anyway, but she did it in a much funnier style. He kept on cackling, watching as she choked her rescuer. Soon the man was helplessly drowning while Harley used his body as leverage to keep herself afloat.

Harley glared up at him while still clinging to the man that had gone limp. "Get me out of here, Puddin'," she called with a pout.

Joker chuckled. "You wanna sleep with the fishes, baby?"

She slowly sank, and then her head disappeared underneath the surface with some bubbles.

It was _almost_ funny. Not enough, no, because it reminded him of something.

"Ohh, don't worry," Joker cooed, "Daddy's coming."

He quickly discarded his coat and rifle and jumped down. It really did remind him of something, something he had pushed very far away, but now it resurfaced like Harley did when his arms got a hold of her body. He removed the deadweight from her, pulling her up.

The Joker had no actual memory of learning how to swim; so far it had been done out of necessity and his extensive willpower, that made him capable of anything he set his mind to. It was a tiny bit harder when Harley immediately latched onto him with force.

Her miserable expression had been replaced with excitement the moment he hit the water, and he didn't doubt she would try to pull him down just for the fun of it. He gave her a stern, warning look and kept her on an arm-length distance so she couldn't drown them both. An activity of that kind should be performed in private, in a more intimate style – preferably in a bubbling vat of chemicals. Now _that_ was fun.

He let her wrap her arms around his neck as he pulled her with him the short distance to the concrete wall of the dock. There was a rough-looking metal ladder attached to the wall, leading all the way up to the edge. He detached her arms from him, chuckling when she got a brief panicking expression on her face again, and then pushed her up the ladder. He followed close behind.

Once they were both up, he was pissed again. His favorite coat was drenched, he noticed as he smoothed his hair back. Harley seemed a bit roughed up from the experience, her makeup was smeared out and running down her face. Her pigtails were drooping sadly. She leaned on the side, she had lost one of her shoes. _Oh, Harley._ She would never let him live that down. Growling, Joker picked her up and she immediately wrapped her arms around his neck in a vice grip.

"Thank you Puddin'," she giggled and pressed a wet kiss to his cheek. He gave her a stern look, letting her know she was not off the hook for having caused him so much trouble.

The Joker turned to Frost.

"Get me a swimming pool," he ordered. "Get rid of any kids." After a moment's thought he added with a malicious grin: "A _deep_ pool." Harley shuddered and his smile grew wider.

"Sure thing, Boss," his aide-de-camp mumbled.

As the Joker's other henchmen approached to load the truck with the new goods, Harley automatically put on her usual, carefree smile and swung her legs up and down. Her smile faltered a bit when she saw that the Joker was grinning at her – not the way he smiled in sadistic agreement and amusement shared with her, but a far more sinister way.

" _You_. Are going swimming tonight," he said. A dark glimpse in his eyes, telling her just how unwise it would be to protest.

She grimaced, knowing he would push her head-first into that pool with force if he had to. "I really don't wanna sleep with the fishes. I hate fish."

He cackled again, and she pressed her wet body closer to his. Instinctively he tightened his grip on her body, and when she reached up, he pressed his lips roughly to hers. She tasted good even when she reminded him of a drenched cat. He growled, annoyed at how much he had missed her. She always drove him out of his mind with frustration, but she was so, _so_ funny to have around.

She roamed in her tight shorts, pulling up a pair of keys. "I got us a ride, Puddin'. Nothin' too fancy, but it's something."

Joker carried her bridal style in the direction of her stolen toy, gesturing to Frost to get the truck loaded up and back to the hiding place. He stopped in front of the snow white Porsche, an expression of mock surprise on his face.

" _Talk about_ compensation."


	3. Beware of the Clowns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Clowns meet clowns.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short little bonus chapter of sorts, in between regular chapters. This is not from Frost's point of view - the poor guy gotta get some time off.  
> Inspired by the clown sighting videos out there.

**Beware of the Clowns**

 

"Faster, Puddin'!" Harley demanded, slamming her head back against the seat. Her laughter bounced off and mixed with her partner in crime's. This car was not nearly as good as their Lambo, but the look on the owner's face when they drove off was totally worth it.

The Joker was never content with any of their substitute cars, claiming the Lambo had a certain thing to it – and she wasn't one to disagree. It was so comfortable; they could get down in any position together. Now, as it had been salvaged from the harbor and was still being repaired, they had to improvise.

Lately they had added a white Porsche to their collection. This silver Ferrari 458 was even better, especially as she didn't need to hotwire it. She had seduced the owner in question before the Joker came in to finish the procedure. Most people were more than willing to hand over their keys once Joker was pressing a gun to their heads. It was _funnier_.

Joker pushed the pedal even harder and the dark city outside was reduced to a blurry streak. The streets had progressively gotten emptier as they left the central city behind, cruising between cars and red lights.

"Wonder if Batsy will join us tonight?" he purred, matching the sound of the engine as he took a sharp corner. Harley almost fell into his lap, grinning, but he didn't seem up to it. She rested her hand on his leg, and he growled.

There was a small tension in his face, something she didn't like seeing there. She hadn't forgiven Batman for what did, and she knew Mister J definitely hadn't either – a revenge plan was forming in his head. Until then, she knew he would act on that feeling with more violence.

They entered a dimly lit street in a industry area, brick walls surrounding them on either side, the fastest way back without engaging in a police chase - not that they minded. Suddenly he slammed hard on the brakes and Harley was thrown back into her seat with breathtaking force.

"Ah - what'ya do that for, Puddin'?"

She followed his stare, surprised that something had suddenly caught his attention. In front of them on the narrow street, three grotesque figures were standing in front of an improvised roadblock.

As the car rolled closer, she saw that they were wearing full costumes. One of them wore a classical white clown mask with red hair and a big, colorful suit. The other wore a more grotesque clown mask, with black eyes and plastic teeth in a wide, contorted grin. The last one had painted his face white and red and wore a green wig. They were armed with cudgels and baseball bats.

She giggled. "Look, clowns! Aren't they _funny_?"

Joker stared at them, eyebrows slightly raised. Then his lips split into a metallic grin, cold eyes still transfixed on them. "Clowns, _hmmm_?"

She recognized that dangerous tinge in his voice; something had displeased him and it was impossible know exactly what, or how he was going to react.  
The Joker's personal crew consisted of thugs dressed up as anime characters and various funny creatures, but so far he had never hired clowns. It seemed to be off-limits.

The three clowns started running towards their car, swinging their weapons. One of them brought a chainsaw from his bag, revving it up.

The Joker started laughing hysterically, falling back into his seat and cackling. Harley grinned at the costumed people through the windshield. She rolled down the window and spoke loudly to out-voice her paramour.

"Move your stuff, we're coming through."

The Happy Clown raised the chainsaw as he approached her car window. In the darkness, his mask seemed to glow in white, in sharp contrast to the cheap red plastic hair. Harley picked up her gun. " _Move it_."

Happy Clown took a step back, but Scary Clown approached from the other side, right outside her window, a switchblade in his hand. "Boh!"

Harley sneered. "Aren't you just cute?" She grabbed her bat from underneath her seat and got out of the car. "Tryin' to be scary?" She swinged the bat at Scary Clown before he had time to jump out of the way. She hit him straight across the face, hard enough to beat him to the ground. "You're not even _close_."

She beat him repeatedly as she heard the Joker get out of the car as well. When Scary Clown stopped moving, she beat him one more time just because it was funny.

The Joker had his face one inch away from the guy with the white face paint. He was smiling his most terrifying smile: all his teeth bared, mouth wide and red like a shark's. Harley felt a shiver run down her spine – when Mr. J looked like _that,_ she promptly forgot all about the rest of the world. That smile meant death, and her excitement grew.

Her man was the big bad wolf of this city, and no one else could come close to the terror he implanted, even in her sometimes. Most of all, she knew that he _hated_ impostors.

"You're – you're the Joker," Face Paint Clown stuttered, trying to back away. His nose was almost touching the Joker's. Happy Clown had backed away and was watching them, his chainsaw still spinning.

"That's right," Joker purred, still giving him his deadly grin. "And _you_ have forgotten something." He pulled his favorite gun out of his holster, spinning it in his hand and watching with great satisfaction as the clown took another step back.

Harley turned to Happy Clown, her smile promising sweet death. "Remove the blockage, honey. I'm sure your brain will make a lovely pattern on the sidewalk. Wanna find out how it looks?"

Looking absolutely terrified, as terrified as one could look behind a constantly smiling clown mask anyway, Happy Clown dropped the chainsaw and ran towards the roadblock. Mr. J wasn't done intimidating Face Paint Clown, so Harley picked up the chainsaw and skipped over to him.

Joker twirled his gun in his hand, making a face at the last remaining clown.

"Please, stop it! We were just playin'!" the man begged.

"You were just playing?" Joker repeated, taunting him. " _I'm_ in a mood to _play_ tonight. You'll get the _real_ thing."

Harley grinned at him.

"This is _my_ playground," Joker continued and gave him his most disingenuous expression of calm seriousness, brow raised. "Can't have my fans roaming the streets and giving people the _wrong_ impression, can we?"

The clown shook his head quickly, fooled by Joker's smooth voice. There was a tightening in his jaw that Harley recognized, a darker, aggressive glint in his eyes. He shot Face Paint Clown in both kneecaps, causing him to collapse to the ground and scream.

Joker stood above him, grinning amusedly. "All that screaming is gonna getcha… _even more_ hurt."

Harley offered him the chainsaw. "Wanna play?"

 


	4. The Monster

 

**Writing Prompt: The Monster**  
  
_This fire in my skin, this burning desire  
is turning me to sin_

* * *

Joker sat crouched on the floor, in his circle of weapons and roses. Another day of waiting. His most trusted henchman sat on the steps leading up to the door and shared the information he just had found out. Joker knew there was a reason he had let him live.

His head rolled back as he listened. The thing in the back of his mind, the looming dark shadow, purred with blood-lust. He ached to kill again, but everything had left him since _she_ disappeared. Instead this new, vague shadow had taken over, sometimes swallowing him in the darkness. These past months had been an endless void.

Who could have guessed she would enchant him like that, that stupid, pretty little doctor. She had overthrown him in his own game and made him risk everything. He hated her for it. She made him completely furious, _crazy_ with desire, rage, lust and hatred. It burned him like fire, another degree of hell.

She was his, and there would be hell to pay for those who took her away.

A low snarling sound escaped his gritted teeth, as his mind already started calculating how he was going to break into that damned prison. Frost squirmed, equal parts alarmed and happy to receive orders again.

There was a movement in the in the doorway, just like that. Joker raised his gaze, slowly, something within him breathing heavily in anticipation.

A figure appeared out of the shadows and immediately both Joker's and Frost's guns were trained on her. She gracefully moved down the steps, pale like a ghost, almost glowing in the light from the setting sun outside the windows, and something made him lower his gun.

He stared, silently. She was more than a ghost, a mirage – a deadly apparition of the highest kind.

She was much paler than he could remember; there was not a trace of her cherry and golden colors that left imprints on his retina, only her long, dry hair reaching down to her waist, the tips faded blue. It swayed around her tall, lean form as she moved, like a veil, stepping up on the altar of death. She was dressed in grey, dirty rags, but there was no mistaking.

He saw that same familiar light in her eyes; nothing could extinguish that mad light. Harley was standing in front of him.

Like a broken man he looked up at her, a deranged smile manifesting on his lips. Those bare, full lips of hers parted, he wanted nothing else than to taste them, but she had him paralyzed with a glance. Then she was on her knees in front of him and tumbled into his arms.

"Shhh," she mumbled and pushed him onto his back on the floor. She laid on top of him, smiling in an absolutely maddening way. Her thighs wrapped around his narrower ones with the same brute force he could remember, her arms closed around his torso. Her long hair cut off his sight from anything that wasn't _her_. His arms closed around her, drawing her in tight, chest against chest.

But she was not the same, no; those soft curves he used to bite and leave fingerprints on were replaced with something bonier. He could feel her sharp hip bones and ribs more clearly. _How dared they._ He was going to tear Belle Reve apart piece by piece, and then find the homes of everyone who worked there, everyone who had placed his Harley in that place.

He would burn their homes down, starting with the guards, he would slaughter their families, wreak havoc and he would put them all in their own torture cells, yes. He would see them screaming in despair and he would _laugh_ at those crying children, women and men.

The monster in him purred but the rest of him was overwhelmed by her closeness. She held him as he breathed harshly, gazing into his eyes and waiting with a soft smile. He stared at her, took in her bare face, a healing scar on her plump bottom lip, the reassuring warmth of her. She was covered by dirt and dust and bruises, she did not even _smell_ the same, and that alone enraged him.

But she was there, hushing him, stroking his face gently and he calmed down. She leaned closer to kiss him and he bit into her lip, to make the scar _his_ , and the crimson color suited her lips perfectly as it spilled down her chalk white skin.

He just gazed at her, and then his arms moved up to hold her against him with crushing force.

That crazy girl set off deep, underlying responses he didn't think he was capable of having, but it was enough to leave him breathless. Broken nerve endings set on fire again, new connections made.

She smiled down at him now, blood trickling down her chin, his light reflecting in her. Lying together in his circle of despair, her breath swept across his face.

"Come and get me," she whispered, her breath making him tense up, his gloved hands possessively digging into her form. "I'm waiting for you."

He was damned for ever letting her come close, for giving in. Nothing but damnation and desecration.

"I will," he promised her darkly. The monster inside growled again, then it grinned. It imagined annihilation, and he needed to feed it. Someone's husband or wife, someone's children - haha - he would carve his way through the bodies.

A shuffling sound brought him out of his dark reverie.

Joker blinked and found himself alone on the floor. Her body had dissolved quickly like a thought, leaving him empty and cold.

Mad cackles spilled out of him as he thought about it. Heads would roll soon enough; she was alive and there was nothing to hold him back. The promise of the next days was soothing. A hunt awaited, and his energy returned, unstoppable. The monster roared.

"Frost," Joker breathed through his choked laughter, "Bring the car around. I'm going to burn this city down, and _I will_ find her."


	5. Reverse Rabbit Hole

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a "deleted scene" from my other JxHQ fanfic Just Like You, that was scrapped quite early on because I decided to go a different route. I regret not being able to fit it into the final story, but this simply didn't work with what I had in mind for Harley.  
> In which Harleen is taken by the Joker after the Asylum Breakout - it would originally take place after chapter 4.

**Reverse Rabbit Hole**

 

* * *

When Harleen woke up, blinking slowly, she was no longer in the ECT room.

A strange buzzing was the first thing she heard, like a wasp was stuck inside of her skull and prodded at her brain. Her eyes watered from irritation. She was lying on her back on a rough surface and her entire body stung.

_Did I get attacked by a swarm of bees?_

No. It must have been a rabbit. A green rabbit…

She could still hear it laugh. She had run after it, tried to catch it, but it slipped from her grasp and disappeared into a deep hole, that was so deep she couldn't see the end of it. She might have followed… but she fell in, and she didn't remember anything after that.

She couldn't focus her gaze in the dark space and instinctively checked for her glasses that had been pushed back uncomfortably hard onto her skull. She heard the sound of an engine from below, vibrating dully around her.

Her hand movements were slow and unsteady and her entire body was inert, she felt paralyzed. There was a dark patch in her memory, sudden flashes of lights that sent jolts of pain through her spine.

_I'm going to hurt you. So bad._

Slowly her eyes got used to the dusk and her mind picked up on more sensations, the unmistakable scent of blood. She was lying in some kind of windowless van with dark interior and an open space in the middle.

A big, grotesque panda face suddenly appeared in her vision, right above her face. Two enormous plastic eyes stared emptily at her. Her heartbeat remained indifferent. She felt eerily calm; not even the fact that she was currently being taken away in the back a van bothered her in the slightest.

The panda, cradling a heavy assault rifle, leaned closer. It covered her sight with its massive form until all she saw was black and white fur.

"Boo!"

Through the buzzing in her head, she heard a grumble as he waited for her to scream. This was getting annoying.

Her mobility was slowly returning as the world came into focus. Harleen lifted her hands and searched blindly around her body. The grinning panda came closer and closer to her face and the scent of sweat enveloped her. Her hand moved around on the floor, landing in several wet or sharp spots, and then she found a smooth, metallic object.

She could vaguely hear shuffling around her. A low voice rasped:

"What's boss gonna do with her?"

"Probably dump her somewhere like the rest…"

She grabbed the crowbar and struck Panda Man hard underneath the muzzle. A loud string of curses was heard as he scooted backwards. Harleen heard more mumbles, laughter and curses all around her.

"A feisty one…is she fair game for all?"

Harleen struggled to sit up, her body rigid and stiff, and adjusted her glasses in place. Then she saw the panda's full costume, with a red heart across the chest that said "Friends Forever", stained with blood. A hazy memory floated in the corners of her memory, tricking and taunting her, but she couldn't grasp it.

Panda Man pushed her onto her back again with the tip of his AK-47.

"Don't move, or it's bye-bye."

Harleen grasped the crowbar again, ready to strike him hard enough to crush his skull.

"I would put that down if I were you," a voice suddenly said. She turned her head and saw a bearded man sitting in the front of the van. Her hand moved along the floor to find another weapon, but he was looking at the Panda Man with a gun in his hand.

"From now on, she's untouchable. Get used to it."

Panda Man withdrew his rifle from Harleen, sitting back. The bearded man gave her a quick look, but did not pay her any further attention. She stared defiantly at him as she sat up again. She realized that the vehicle was occupied by at least four other people, all dressed in various costumes, and she was overpowered. Yet the adrenaline rush was still missing; her mind was almost lazily taking in the situation.

It didn't matter – she wanted to go back to that lovely dream. The rabbit… the rabbit had sharp teeth. Where did it go?

The inhuman faces staring at her distracted her, and she moved backwards to the closest wall as she prepared her attack. She would have to act quickly.

A familiar voice from the front of the van suddenly made her head perch up. It broke through her haze, and her heart almost jumped out of her rib cage.

"Jonny," it drawled, "I don't have time to play tonight."

Harleen's pulse rushed as she caught a glimpse of brilliant green hair somewhere in the front, next to the driver. Panda Man turned in his seat. She glared at him.

"Don't ruin the suit, it's my favorite," the Joker said.

Panda Man realized what was about to happen, but before he had time to get out of the way a bullet hit him straight in the back. His large form collapsed beside Harleen on the floor, gasping and bleeding.

She moved out of the way and felt her breathing go back to normal. She was with Mr. J. Her dream was coming back, those moments she couldn't remember, but she knew that he had been with her to that dark place.

"We don't play with others' toys," the Joker sing-sang, turning his head fully and grinning at his crew.

Frost holstered his gun.


	6. Payback Playtime

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by Joker x Harley week Day 1: Pride

_Yeah, I'm the female monster_   
_You know that, everybody let's get crazy right now_   
_I'm the crazy girl around here like gossip girl_   
_If you don't believe me, alright, hey, call my boyfriend_

\- Crazy, 4Minute

 

* * *

"Hi guys!" Harley Quinn called as she sauntered through the bombed door, doing a twist on her high heels and placing her bat on her shoulder. She made a full spin at the mafia members who sprung up from their places, immediately drawing their weapons.

Frost closed in behind Harley as a group of the Joker's men entered behind them, assault rifles ready. The bombed hideout looked a complete mess, broken glass and playing cards spilled on the floor. At least six men stood in front of them and Frost wished she would move out of the way.

Nowadays, his ticket to survival was to keep the Joker's girl alive. Quinn's psychotic desire for adrenaline rushes was even worse than the boss', and unlike him she never had a plan. She improvised as she went, coming up with the most insane ideas.

Her sexual appeal had fooled many, except this kitty had a thing for grand theft auto and armed robbery. She liked him to speed the car in oncoming traffic on the highway and she was the type of person who waited for the very last moment before leaving a collapsing building, skipping out on the street just as the first concrete blocks hit the ground.

When involved in arson, she would much rather take the fire escape on the tenth floor and do dramatic acrobatics on her way down before jumping three stores and landing gracefully on the fire truck. Sometimes Frost wondered if she couldn't comprehend the danger she constantly thrust upon herself, or if she just didn't care. As time passed, he had come to realize it was the latter. Harley Quinn didn't have a care in the world, except when it came to her precious boyfriend.

And this mafia boss had been annoying her man for quite some time.

Harley grinned, a wide red smile that was unsettlingly similar to the Joker's, as she stepped closer, looking for anything valuable to take.

"Who are you?" one of the men shouted as he took a step forward, his accent thick and foreign. "Don't come closer!"

She stopped and got sight of the jewelry chain around his neck. With sparkling eyes she popped her sugary pink bubble gum; the _pop_ was the only audible sound in the room. The man pointed his gun straight in her face and she laughed.

"Aww, you gonna make me suck that off for you? Come on, shove it down."

Frost cocked his Colt at the man, standing directly behind Harley. A part of him was thankful that the Boss wasn't present – he would _not_ appreciate that kind of statement from her.

On the other hand, if the thugs decided to kill her, he would rather not they did it on _his_ watch – it was a bloody play of Russian roulette; exactly what would happen if Harley left the scene with a single scratch. The Joker was busy in the building across the street and since he had assigned Frost to go with Harley, it meant that he was taking precautions.

For a moment the two groups remained completely unmoving, weapons drawn. Frost realized that the mafia members were starting to recognize them, so they hesitated.

Harley stood in the middle with a devious smile on her face, chewing her gum. She tilted her head and pointed with a black nail at the goon in front of her.

"I want that."

Frost nodded at the man, urging him just give up his valuables _._ Harley's eyes narrowed into dangerous slits as the thug in front of her didn't comply.

"Don't make me ask twice," she hollered and advanced on the startled guy, slapping the gun out of his hand. Joker's crew leveled their guns at the rest of the men, keeping them from shooting her. She raised her bat and beat the goon to the floor with one swift, hard strike, then continued until his face was unrecognizable.

With a satisfied smile, Harley ripped the thick chain off his neck and put it on herself. She looked at it for a moment, eyes sparkling. "I love diamonds."

The rest of the Joker's henchmen flooded the main room just as the mafia thugs opened fire. Frost kept out of the crossfire – massacring was not a part of his job description - and backed off.

He saw Harley swiftly duck out of shooting range. The Joker's crew chased the goons into the next room by simply gunning them down if they didn't run fast enough, leaving Frost and Harley alone.

Harley looked around. "Now where is he? What's his name again? Macaron?"

"Maroni," Frost informed her. He'd already reminded her twice this morning.

Five more of the mafia's men entered with their weapons drawn, almost tripping over the bleeding bodies on the ground. At the same time, Joker's Goat Man and Flesh Man came into the room, dragging a short, stout tied up man – the mafia boss in question.

"How nice of you to come! Salvatore, right? Do your friends call you Sal?" Harley winked at him.

The man grimaced as the barrel of an AK-47 was pressed to his head. Frost looked at the other thugs, his own gun drawn. "Back off, or we'll kill him."

Harley narrowed her eyes. "I'm the one doing this."

Questioning her in any way was unthinkable – when the Boss was away, she was the alpha dog. Reluctantly, Frost and Goat Man withdrew from Maroni. Goat Man went to guard the entrance to the other room. Frost turned towards the other men to keep them in check, so that none of them would get any ideas, keeping his eyes on Harley from the side.

Loud gunshots and the sound of furniture being overturned from the other room were heard as Joker's men advanced on Maroni's. Goat Man's long black cape was moist with blood.

Harley flashed her teeth at the struggling mafia boss. "On your knees."

Flesh Man held Maroni upright and forced him to kneel in front of her. His arms were tied behind his back and he was bleeding from his mouth – he had not given in without a fight. He muttered something, glaring daggers at her.

"What was that? Oh, nevermind. I've heard that you've been tryin' to cross my Puddin'."

Now when he was not under immediate gun threat, he tried to crawl away further into the room. Harley brought the bat down on him hard; forcing him to bend backwards so much that he was almost lying on his back.

"Don't act dumb, big boy. It just _kills_ the mood."

"I'm not afraid of a little slut," he growled.

Harley raised her bat and beat him square across the face, making blood spring from his nose and trickle down his moustache onto his pressed suit.

"And I'm supposed to keep you _alive_." She grimaced. Then a devilish grin appeared on her face. "Well, this ain't gonna kill ya – " She kicked him straight in the chest, casing his body to scoot further away across the floor. He groaned in pain and looked at his men. "Kill them!"

Frost and Goat Man made sure Maroni's men slowly backed off, confusion and fear written on their faces as their boss cowered in front of Harley. She beat him again.

"Ya get that? _Never, ever_ , cross my Puddin'. This is _his_ city, you're just a dog."

A bunch of Maroni's men suddenly flooded the room, effectively outnumbering the four of them. As they opened fire, they were forced back into the room. Goat Man fell to the floor, injured. To his relief, Frost saw the extra backup enter at the same time – the war was on. In the sudden chaos, Harley was cornered and her bat kicked away.

Three of the mafia's men closed in on Harley, not even bothering to pull out their weapons as they tightened their fists.

"Let's take care of Barbie," one of them growled.

Harley turned to face them, surrounded from all angles. Before Frost had time to react, she suddenly jumped. She overthrew the man closest to her, pushing him to the floor.

A moment later she was on top of another, her bare thighs wrapped around his shoulders in a chokehold she twisted his neck. He collapsed beneath her and she moved on to the next, beating him to the ground with well-aimed kicks.

"Get her!" Maroni screamed from his crouched position in a corner and four more men advanced her. She was on top of them, snapping their necks and kicking them down. Spinning and twisting in the air, she made them scatter on the floor as the shooting moved away to the other room again. Frost crouched and watched her.

"No one," she yelled as she pushed one guy's nose bone into his brain, "screws with my Puddin'", she turned around like a flash and overthrew a man that approached her from behind, slapping him unconscious with his own gun, "except me!"

One managed to get his arms around her middle and caught her in a vice grip, but she threw him off with an impressive sleek strength, then grabbed the gun and shot him in the head.

Breathing heavily, she turned around, some strands of blonde hair stuck in her smeared lipstick. She picked up her bat and scanned the area for more offenders.

The men were lying unmoving on the ground, some of them just groaning quietly, their eyes rolling into the back of their skulls and blood running from their faces.

When she straightened up, she suddenly grimaced and winced.

Frost stopped in his tracks. Had she been hurt?

Harley rubbed her thin thighs together and grinned sheepishly. "I've not been walkin' straight lately."

Oh. Frost advanced on Maroni with a couple of long strides, trying to keep his face in check. The mafia boss was still alive, tied up, bleeding from his face and wincing in pain. Harley gracefully moved over to him.

"You're so disturbed," he spat. "You're sick!"

"Aren't we all? She laughed, amused, and threw her head back, holding out her arms. She was so carefree, so unhinged. Nothing in this world could hold her down.

* * *

The main door was blown off its hinges and the Joker walked right in as if he owned the place. He looked around for his target, flanked by his henchmen, and stopped when he saw Harley. A grin slowly spread across his face when he saw the bleeding men on the ground.

Harley's heart skipped a beat and she dropped her bat. "Puddin'!"

He held out his arms. "Come to daddy."

She didn't need to be told twice. Skipping and jumping over the bodies, she threw herself into his arms, almost sending both of them tumbling down on the floor. Her mouth found his in a sloppy kiss and he purred.

With her lean body pressed against his, sneaking underneath his purple coat, it would have been easy to forget why they were here. He lifted one hand to her chin and tilted her face upwards. She was gazing into his eyes with overflowing devotion,

He saw the dried blood on her hands. "Now where's our company?" he asked reprimanding. "Did you already have your fun without waiting for me?"

"Not at all, Puddin'," she flashed her eyelashes and grinned. "He's all ready for you. I just don't wanna miss date night."

"We'll get to that," he purred into her ear. He placed his hands around her warm waist, grasping it as he watched the room. She had managed everything just fine – Frost on the other hand looked half traumatized. Maroni was on his knees, all color draining from his face as he saw the Joker.

Something swelled in his chest – he didn't know what it was, but every time he saw the destruction she caused, it brought the same grin to his face. Like the first time she killed for him, it filled him with hot arousal and satisfaction.

She was his creation, with her devilish smirk, cherry lips, sugary scent of bubble gum and metallic. Uncompromising, cold-blooded, burning and _insatiable_.

When he saw Harleen for the first time he never thought that she would be enough – that she would _dare_ to break free. Harley had completely swept him off his feet.

"You did well," he told his little vixen, biting on her earlobe. She giggled, a warm flush on her face warming his.

She knew he was proud of her, and he knew at the end of the day she would claim her reward and there would not be a force in this world that would keep him from giving her that. "Now go play."

If she hadn't detached herself from him he never would have been able to let go of her, but instead he straightened up and watched her pick up her bat.

He fought against his arousal, the urge to simply press her up against the wall and ravage her until she forgot the last week. Licking his lips, he followed behind her when she closed in on the mafia boss.

He would do that soon enough. For now, he'd enjoy the show.


	7. Smile For Me

' _A little fall of rain can hardly hurt me now'_  
  


* * *

"What have you _done_?"

With trembling knees she takes another step back, sidestepping the blood on the ground.

"Puddin...!" She kneels by his side, waiting for him to laugh and tell her to get up again. But he isn't smiling, his eyes are wide and open. Empty, expressionless, watching her.

She grabs his shoulders violently and presses their faces tightly together, his cold lips smearing red on hers. His breathing is faint and strained. She strokes his face as her chest tightens, the blood in her veins turning into acid.

Harley stands up again. Her eyes are set on the terrified police officer in front of them. Her knuckles turns white around the handle of her revolver. Her sight is blurry but her muscles are made of steel. She is going to kill every last one of them, tear them apart piece by piece. No one is going to walk out of here alive.

None of cowardly police is begging for her life, with the brick wall against her wall. Harley's voice is close to cracking again, but the fury is building up behind her eyes, spreading through her veins. She's going to hit every vital organ at least once.

"How _dare you hurt him_?"

She hears voices from behind, the police back-up has arrived. Now she is cornered.

"Drop your weapon or we'll shoot."

Harley fires.  


* * *

  
"Puddin… it will be alright, won't it?"

She kneels by his side and the blood runs like a river, coloring the ground in a symphony of patterns, running down with the slight tilt of the pavement. Maybe all of Gotham will have red water tonight.

She is bruised, covered in dirt and blood, and her heart is thumping with all of her agony. She feels the Puddin collar around her neck, reminding her what she lives for. She will never take it off again.

She touches his skin, always so cold, his hand rests in both of hers. "P-p-puddin!"

She quivers and shakes. Big icy blue eyes filled with oceans, she tries to hold it back, keep it together. He wouldn't want her to cry, no, no. _Just smile._

But she can't, and she hates herself for it.

She has a cut above her eyes and it keeps her sight from getting too clear. This was how he wanted to go out, dramatically, with flair. His purple coat makes nice contrast to the all the red. It's a show, just like he wants it to be. That's all he ever wanted in the end. A bullet through his body, just to remind the world that he isn't immortal after all. The most noble way to die - wounded in battle.

"Harley."

Her breath gets stuck in her throat when he finally speaks. He frowns and she leans over his body, grasping him.

"Smile for Daddy."

She forces her dry, broken lips to stretch, despite the tears clouding her vision. She sits by his side, his body sprawled on the ground next to her.

She grasps his hand, feeling the golden ring on his fourth finger, symbolizing their union. Symbolizing _them_. She presses his hand against her cheek.

When his eyes go empty, she latches on to him in trembling gasps, pressing her body to him. Her entire world, her beginning and her end.

She lets go of him and her body tumbles down by itself, next to him on the wet pavement. Everything is fading, dimming. She has seen those bright white lights before.

Bleeding out feels painless, her body is drowsy and tired, yet light-headed at once. Even the voices are silent, holding their breaths.

She turns her head and kisses him, feels his cold cold lips on her face. She can't keep her eyes open to focus on him. Heavy raindrops hits her face, and she feels the makeup smearing, running down her cheeks and chin, dropping onto her skin.

She laughs weakly, her hand entangling with his. It's a bliss indeed. He is smiling, the light blue of his eyelids shining when he closes them. She feels it.

She will smile for him, of course she will. She is his Harley-girl, his doll, his partner.

Even when his body is since long cold and unmoving, the last breath leaving him, she is by his side, and that's just the best way to go out. When Batsy finds them they will be in perfect stillness, prepared to be buried side by side somewhere. Leaving behind a scene that no one will ever forget, burned police cars and officers strewn out across the street.

So she lays beside him, the rain grows heavier and she is welcoming it, her hand tightening around his.

She smiles because he would want her to.

_Fin._


	8. What I Could Never Have

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It feels kinda strange going back to this particular topic, considering I have two multi-chapter fics dedicated to it already, but I'm not done telling this incident in another way. Requested. Hurt/Comfort.

**What I Could Never Have**

_"This thing is slowly taking me apart_  
_Grey would be the color if I had a heart_  
_Come on and tell me, you make this all go away"_  


* * *

  
Somewhere in the morning hours – or it could have been the afternoon, she wasn't sure - Harley stretched her limbs and yawned loudly, rolling over to press a kiss to the shoulder of her unmoving partner.

He was sleeping on his stomach, like usual, turned away from her. She smiled, before jumping out of the bed, gripping the bed post to keep her balance. A dull pain in her lower abdomen was present, but she ignored it, humming quietly to herself in order to not disturb him, as she looked around for the new lace stockings he gifted her with last week.

Their bedroom was filled with clothes and weapons discarded; it had been a while since the cleaning service visited.

A happy little thought fluttered in her mind and she couldn't stop the smile from spreading across her face. She could impossibly keep track of what week it was, or how long time had even passed, it wasn't showing much yet. She wasn't about to leave everything for the last day – she would make J come with her whether he liked it or not, to get some clothes and toys for the little one.

Today felt like a perfect day, and with renewed energy she started looking for her favorite pair of shorts.

His voice, a bit off due to sleepiness, caught her by surprise. "Harls, did ya cut yourself on your earrings again?"

"I didn't!"

She turned around to see a trail a blood behind her, trailing across the carpet, staining the bed sheets, the pillows and her own peach-colored satin nightgown.

She blinked. "Did we play naughty again last night, Puddin'?" Briefly she examined her arms, for any signs of new cuts or bite marks, but found nothing. Maybe they had killed a hostage in the bed, she couldn't really remember.

Shrugging, she headed for the bathroom as the ache in her stomach grew.

"Ya better stop that bleeding," he grunted, still buried among the duvets.

When she entered the bathroom the blood trail became more apparent, and she saw it dripping from between her legs. Absentmindedly rummaging through the cabinets for a box of tampons, her hands froze when she realized what she was doing.

Period. There was no period. She had not had a period for two months, maybe three. She wasn't _supposed_ to.

The first real cramp hit her, making her hands press against her stomach reflexively as her knees gave in and she sank to the floor. _Wait, this isn't right!_

"No, no, no," she chanted, pressing tighter as if to hold on to it, when she felt warm blood leave her. "No! Don't go!" Her own voice felt raspy, unknown to herself. Nausea lured in the back of her throat, and she supported herself with both palms against the white tiled floor.

"Ba-by?"

 _It's not a baby_ , a voice hissed in the back of her mind. _It's a piece of flesh, a piece of you and him molded together. A fertilized egg cell that keeps on dividing, over and over again, attached to your womb -_

"Shut up! I know how it works!" She leaned forward until the tiles were right in front of her eyes and she realized her forehead had collided with them.

Blinking slowly, she searched for the strength to push herself up again, bracing her sweaty palms against the floor, but they gave in. A cold shiver racked her body. She leaned over the toilet, wanting to throw up, but nothing came. The shivering spread all over, focused on one point in the middle of her _._

Crawling back to the opposite wall, leaning against it and curling together, she pressed her hands against her stomach again.

"Puddin'?" It felt like she was speaking underwater, forming words into giant bubbles.

That was how he found her when he came barging in, and his hands were covered in her blood when he knelt in front of her and all but growled: " _Where's_ the wound?"

He shook her body, trying to get a word out of her. Her mouth opened and shut again. Another cramp forced her body forward and her hands instinctively went to the closest place she could think of, feeling stickiness.

" _Harley_ …" He was almost shaking too, fists clenched, snarling, red-rimmed eyes staring intensely at her, and she wanted to reach forward and comfort him.

She spread her legs a bit as she slowly raised her cupped hands, trying to keep them from trembling. In her palm was the answer.  


**x**  


The bleeding finally stopped three days later. Harley lay still in their bed, unmoving, unseeing. The doctor left and the sheets were changed, but _she_ didn't. Staring at the ceiling, she felt comfortably numb.

"Didn't you wanna stay with us?" She didn't recognize her own voice, slow and cracked; a voice she had when she was someone different.

Her hands clasped together over her empty belly. _This isn't what you wanted. You chose him._

She blinked once and felt something hot run down her face. A family life, a house and garden of her own – was that really what she wanted? _You chose the acid and the deep dive._

A silent movement in the corner of her vision. He entered the room like a pale ghost, sitting down on the bed next to her. She turned her face just an inch, trying to focus on him, his face and his presence. He was like a statue, she couldn't even hear his breathing.

Suddenly she felt fear.

Harley reached up to touch his arm, feeling flesh and bones underneath her touch, he was _real_. Her other hand joined her first, and she sat up, blinking once, twice.

Then her hands grasped both his arms and she fell into him, collided with his body. He remained sitting, as if her body weight's impact didn't affect him. Bracing her hands against his chest, she let the first sob tear through her chest, followed by another as the flood gate opened.

His arms encircled her, drawing her closer. As her sobbing rose in volume, she felt it mixing with hiccuping giggles, and it felt so strangely relieving to let the emotions completely overrule. She felt his hands grasping her shoulders, his thumbs rubbing small circles against them.

She sobbed and laughed until she couldn't breathe at all. In the midst of the shaking and gasping, he leaned forward and pressed his mouth to hers.

Her last hyperventilated breaths disappeared into his mouth and she made no resistance, feeling light-headed as she stopped struggling. For a moment she wanted to give in, die in his arms, but it wasn't what he had in mind. His hands held her head firmly as he breathed into her, and her body finally relaxed.

She collapsed against him, unable to move.

"Harley," he mumbled into her ear. His hand stroked her hair, down to the split tips, and settled on the small of her back. "It's you and me. Always."

She nodded once, and then closed her eyes, letting the scent and presence of him fill her completely.

_And one day there'll be more._

The thought made her smile, and as he placed his cold fingers over her eyelids, prompting her to sleep, she knew it was true.


	9. Wine Chocolate

"That shark costume is ridiculous. We should hire 'em."

Sitting next to him, with her legs in his lap and her body turned against him, she let her hands rest lightly on his shoulders. She leaned in to nibble at his earlobe, earning a low purr in return. The flat screen was turned on, the movie night slowly forgotten, as her fingers tightened in the expensive fabric of his shirt. Harley finally had him _all_ to herself.

To her annoyance, his eyes were still focused on the screen, or rather, the box of chocolates on the coffee table next to her wine glass. He rarely indulged in liquor, but for the evening she had poured him his favorite whiskey - she liked feeling the heat of his skin.

Harley's eyes narrowed, biting harder on his earlobe, letting her tongue swirl around the diamond stud. She could feel, rather than see his smile, as he tilted his head slightly backward and rolled his tongue over his lips.

Still not satisfied, she climbed into his lap, demonstratively cupping his face. She giggled softly when she felt him reaching out behind her. "Hey, Puddin'."

"Harls, what am I thinking about?"

She thought for a moment, trying to find the punch line before he had a chance to deliver it, but decided he was in a good enough mood to allow her disinterest. "Hmm… which position you want me in." She slowly ran her hand along his arm.

He rolled his eyes, clearly amused, and she turned around to see where his hand went. Instead of any interesting place, it headed towards the last piece of wine chocolate… she had forgotten about the last piece in the box. Frost had brought them in from a "special source", one of a kind deal.

"No," she pouted, swapping his hand away and diving in for the kill. The taste of wine on her tongue left her wanting more.

Immediately thrilled by the game, he pushed her back into the couch. Harley wasted no time pushing him back down, straddling his waist and reaching for the chocolate treat. He flipped them around at the last moment, making her head hit the coffee table as he grinned above her.

"I win, Harls." He leaned down to run his teeth along her throat, making her shudder when his lips touched her pulse point, effectively shattering her concentration.

"Not yet, Puddin'." She saw him reach out and she wrapped her legs around his narrow hips, completely locking him in place. He giggled above her, putting on a show to slowly eat it, when she used all her strength to push him back again, making them both fall to the side and turn over the coffee table and glasses.

He didn't stop laughing as Harley clawed her way through the carpet to find the piece of chocolate, panting. The part of her that loved competition awakened, stopping at nothing to break free from his arms around her, reaching for the little sugary treat when he snatched it up again and straddled her.

"Hey, not fair!" She turned onto her back. Seeing him unrelenting, she unleashed her full charm, widening her eyes as she looked him deep in the eyes. " _Please_ , Mistah J."

"Please _what_ , sugar?" He grinned from ear to ear, holding the chocolate treat in the air above her.

"Haven't I been a good girl?"

He pretended to think about it. "Ya know, Harls, one could _almost_ think you're serious right now. _Seriously_ bad."

She giggled, snapping her teeth at him in another attempt to distract him. "Ya didn't tell me what you were thinking about before. Penny for your thoughts?"

He shrugged, putting the treat in his mouth. Harley hissed and grabbed his gun from his holster, firing three shots into the ceiling.

Plaster rained down across them and he squinted his eyes, looking falsely clueless. "What now?"

"I want Frosty here," she said, shrugging. When he got off her, she glared at him, seeing the wine that had spread across the carpet and the front of her crimson dress. "I'm _wet_."

"Oh, but we haven't even started yet." He chewed slowly, teasing her.

When their aide-de-camp showed up, looking surprisingly exhausted for the early hours, Harley pointed at the empty chocolate box.

"I want more of those. Now. And get us some wine while you're at it, pretty boy."

The Joker blinked, once, twice, hand freezing mid-air at her choice of words.

Frost wisely managed to leave in the nick of time, closing the door firmly behind him. Harley elatedly charged at her partner, past grudges forgotten as she licked some chocolate from his lips. He purred and she lowered her voice. "Whatcha gonna do about this dress?"

"Ladies' choice." He gave her his most unreliable smile.

She latched onto him. "You're gonna take me on a shopping spree, mhm, and I want a diamond big as an eyeball."

"Later, my dear." She found her dress ripped at the seams, and he slowly pulled it off her. "Someone's gonna get wet again."

"Oh, yeah?" She made a pirouette in her underwear, giving him a show of her from all angles.

Her face fell as he brought up the wine bottle, unscrewing the lid. He ran his tongue across his lips as he took a step closer, ready to chase her.

Squealing, she backed off. "Not in that way, Puddin'!"

His cackled filled the room. "Don't bother with the salt, 'cause I'm gonna lick it _all_ off you. Inch by inch."

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a comment ~ I love to hear what you think!


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